I developed an addiction... to pregnancy tests!

This seems like a good time to admit to you that I had a problem. Monthly trips to the drugstore

resulted in the purchase of several different brands of pregnancy tests, just in case one brand was

malfunctioning. At first, it was exciting to imagine that this was the month when the little blue line

might actually appear. But after several months, and especially following our miscarriage, the

distress these little bad news bearers inflicted became so intolerable that at one point, I quit them

cold turkey. There is really no other way to do it. If you try to fool yourself that you will only take one

this month, what do you do when it comes back negative? You determine that of course there must

be some mistake with the test, and so you buy a few more to find out.

Does this sound familiar? I hope that you can learn from my story, as the pharmaceutical

companies made a small fortune off me. I can’t blame them entirely, as I made the conscious

decision to spend money month after month, just to make myself feel sad and discouraged. I found it

ironic that women all over the world took these pregnancy tests while hoping for negative results

when I was so desperately praying for the opposite.

Considering my obsession with and dependence on the tests, it is quite surprising that my first-

ever positive test almost went unnoticed. Like clockwork, I subjected myself to another round of

tests. After several minutes peering through a magnifying glass at the indicator window, I had to

admit that there was no little blue line to be found. So, once again, I wrapped up the wand and threw

it away. (At this point, I was so far gone I did not even want Dave to know about all of the tests I took

for fear he would have me banned from the pharmacy).

But on this day, for some unexplained reason, I felt compelled to retrieve the test from the

garbage for careful re-examination. I dug it out from under the coffee grounds and held the magic

wand up to the window, my squinting eyes trying desperately to see even a shadow of a line. Sure

enough, there was a little blue line after all. To this day, I do not understand why my subconscious

sensed it while my eyes did not see it the first time. Who cared though? I had my first little blue line!

I could hardly wait for Dave to get home to celebrate the news. Imagine my relief and excitement

when a second pair of human eyes confirmed my suspicions. I was pregnant! However, Dave was

not as excited as me. He felt the results were not significant because the line was so faint. Clearly,

he was not nearly as well-read on the subject as I was at that point. I knew, as do all pregnancy test

junkies, that during the very early stages, a faint little line was all it took. Even so, I purchased and

took several more tests to confirm the confirmation.